8.28.2006

Oh to be selectively deaf and dumb.

Look, I understand his friends are more important than I am. He's made that pretty clear by 1. always taking their side even when they hurt me on purpose just for fun, 2. spending all free time online chatting to them, rather than I don't know, having dinner with me, 3. spending any money to take weekend trips to visit these goonfucks instead of I don't know taking me out of town for a weekend.

You know I can hear you all sitting there going "Well if she is this bitchy no wonder he doesn't want to spend time with her." People you don't get it. I was MADE this way by him constantly choosing (insert anything) over me, putting me down and making me feel stupid or annoying, like I'm just a fly buzzing in his ear interrupting his irc conversations. I was made this way by being ignored, like those kids that get no socialization and turn feral, barking at anyone who comes near them. I'm going through the stages now...right now I am at the banshee stage. He wouldn't listen to me when I tried to just tell him what bothered me so now I've moved on to screaming and crying to make him hear me.

(ASIDE: By the way, ladies, men always say this shit...'well how can I change if you don't tell me what is bothering you?' Well, you then try to tell them and they inform you you are being stupid or dramatic and your feelings are invalid because whatever is bothering you isn't a big deal [basically because if it ain't a big deal to a man, then it just ain't a big deal, sugartits]. Bottom line: Men don't really want to hear anything that comes out of your mouth unless it's about them or their interests, and men don't care if you're happy, so if you aren't happy with him how he is, move on. He won't listen, and he'll never change.)

Soon enough, and I'm finding it already, I'll be moving into completel emotional withdrawl. Apparently he hasn't noticed the physical withdrawl has already started a lot, except that of course when HE wants to sit with me or sex then I better be on call and supply. If not...I get "What's wrong?" WHAT'S WRONG??? Has he not listened to me for the LAST 3 MONTHS?

More proof that with men, if it doesn't matter to them, then well it just doesn't matter at all.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

i just found your blog online because i typed in, 'why do i hate my boyfriend'. anyway, i totally agree with your 'aside' comment. very VERY true. cant even get into my thoughts here, cause i really dont want to type that much BS, but just to let you know, i hope you listened to your own comment about, 'if youre not happy with how he is, than leave him'. im screaming that to myself in my head, but it doesnt seem to be registering in my actions. one day. stay strong & never lose who you are.

Anonymous said...

ha ha i was bored and pissed at my boy so i googled "my boyfriend sucks" and found this. cheers to beating on shitty boyfriends.

Anonymous said...

Umm... you really need to just find someone else. if it bugs you so much that you're actually devoting a whole blog to his suckiness then things aren't going too well.
Stop bitching and do something.
unless this is what you're into... the whole dramatic my boyfriend is a dick but i still love him bullshit.

seriously... get over it.

Anonymous said...

I just googled my boyfriend sucks and it looks like a whole lot of boyfriends suck!.. My asshole boyfriend aggressively came on to me over 4 years ago. Divorced with 3 kids and an ex girlfriend coming around. I should have seen it for what it is and ran for the hills, but stupid me was whirlwinded into his charm and love??? WTF? I'm still in the same boat, however now he will not go out of his way for me unless there's something in it for him. Very selfish! And we are fading. I feel angry at him and myself. I gave him my 100% unselfish, caring love for all this time and I feel used now. Like just a fun time that has passed for him and he's done with me. He says he loves me but doesnt show it in anyway. Almost as if he is trying to make me be the one to end it by not being there for and being nice to me. Why cant men have the decency to at least be up front about wtf is going on??!!... No wonder women get vindictive. It's like these guys are purposely trying to rip your heart out and throw salt on it. WHY!

Anonymous said...

Your aside is completely true.

Lo and behold, I am also here because I googled a phrase on my boyfriend.

Good luck with your ordeal. Stay strong.

Anonymous said...

hahaha me too! ahh bless the shits, how are they so completly dumbfound..... surely if all us girls think this way then they just gotta start realising there sly ways just wont work any more! argghhh i have sooo much to say but ill be better off reading rather than barking my feelings! great topic though gals xxx

Anonymous said...

Please dont feel bad i totally agree with u my bf is a major ass and im starting to really hate him! i found this blog my googling my bf sux and he really does..

ftw-jesskah said...

Wow, this made me realize other woman feel the exact same way as I do! I can't understand why my boyfriend can't have a decent inteligent conversation/debate. He can't give his opinion on anything because he either wasn't listening and doesn't have one or he doesn't want to tell me in fear of not having the same opinion as me so he just sits there and stairs off into space!! I feel like every time I bring up the problem its like a giant cirlce starting at what's seems to be progress > a yes or no > a blank stare and voiceless mouth > an "I don't understan.d/What where we talking about?" > me explaining what's going on > him not understanding and changing the subjesct > me bringing it back to the subject > and right back to what seems to be progress.

By the way, I found this by googling "Why is my boyfried dumb!" lol

Anonymous said...

you see the thing is...i do hate my bf sometimes but i do love him other times. like he can be such a jerk with his words there like a slap to the face they make me feel so stupid or like im just some friend hes tlaking to. he rarley calls but when we do see each other its great well for the most part. i have thought of moving on so amny times but i just cant leave him because i just think that no matter how badley im treated it shouldnt count as much for the times i ahve been treated. i do admit that that guys should never treat us like this. the whole treat others liek how u wanna be treated applies and girls if u give and give and give and u get nothing. just leave the jerk! but if u relise that ur not giving enough maybe u should try because i give a lot but i rarly recieve just keep trying if hes worth it. my boyfriend sucks a whole lot, but i still love him. i guess thats why its so hard for us to let go ebcause what if we dont get better? i hope the men relise that were not just some new toy and that we do have feelings and there definatly more fragile then theirs.

p.s stay strong and dont let ur heart or your mind take over the other. stay balanced.

- Dreamer.

Anonymous said...

<3 this.

Anonymous said...

yeah i know how you feel...ive been with my boyfriend for a while too and hes about to turn 21 which scares me, because he thinks hes goin to vegas w.o. me. anyway last night i happened to find like 40 pictures of him and his ex from three years ago...which he emailed to himself on OUR anniversary!!! it totally sucks, i confronted him about it and i just got a ton of bullshit lies..it totally sucks..

Anonymous said...

Wow, and here I was thinking I was alone on this subject. I always wondered why girls stay with guys that abuse them physically, but never really thought about the ones that are mentally abused. I know my boyfriend doesn't mean to hurt my feelings, because I've brought him to tears on a few occasions, but he always talks down to me and HAS to believe he's smarter than me. I honestly think guys are retarded when it comes to using words, and they don't realize how much they hurt you. I've heard my father say some mean things to my mother, but she usually fights back with something just as bitchy, but she never starts it. I'm not sure why they do it, but unless they're calling you a bitch everyday or hitting you, I do think we should give them some chances and just make sure you constantly communicate and tell them when they hurt your feelings.

Anonymous said...

I just posted the comment above this, and I find it strange that almost everybody is anonymous. Are we nervous that our boyfriends are going to read what we have to say about them?

Anonymous said...

One more thing and I'm done. To the OP, his friends should never be more important to you and if he thinks they are, or makes you feel that way, ditch his ass asap. My boyfriend hurts my feelings a lot, but he has never made me feel like his friends are more important, that's just mean.

lina said...

I typed in "I hate my boyfriend" because at this moment. I do hate him. I hate that he makes me feel empty and alone. I've been spending more time away from him and I suggest thats what you should do. I've been doing things I like and hanging out with friends. Its been great because I'm forgetting about him. He calls sometimes and its like a stranger now. I wish he loved me as much as I love him but ALL us girls can't give give give all the time. He'll appreciate you when your gone... they all do. Its hard, because I'm doing it now, but like HELL if I'm going to let him make me cry one more time.

Anonymous said...

i can't believe how many people typed in "my boyfriend sucks" or "i hate my boyfriend" and found this blog.... It's hilarious.... until I realize that I'm one of those people. Seriously though, this isn't that complicated. It's obviously not working out, you aren't being satisfied or even acknowledged as far as I can tell. Probably time to think about single life.

Anonymous said...

Surprise, surprise... I am also reading this because I typed 'my boyfriend sucks' into Google. I feel your pain; my boyfriend openly told me that he prefers his cat over me and he never cares when I'm sad, but when he's feeling down the whole fucking world has to know.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, so I was thinking about how much my boyfriend sucks and I typed "my boyfriend sucks" in google and I came across your blog. I'm definitely in the same boat as you. My boyfriend makes no attempt to listen or interact with me unless it's about 1). sex 2). partying 3). getting high


I feel miserable right now...

Anonymous said...

Lol My Boyfriend sucks for britain LOL
Yes puts his friends before me always has!
When i get upset, he makes it look like it's all my fault!
He looks at every woman that walks past him...
used too be a slag but he hasn't since he's been living with me, 4 years, i can vouch for that one.
There are times we're both so much in love....usaully bed time.Then soon as we get up he changes & maps my day out for me!
Now I've got to the stage, I don't know who I am anynore, If I talk about leaving he gets all treatening..
It's been good to read your readings & made me feel I'm not alone!
he'll run up the bills!
I don't really need to say anymore ...do I???

Anonymous said...

Funniest thing, he had asked me to Marry him & I never said yes!

Anonymous said...

I typed my bf is a dumb, and this popped up. I got a major assessment to pass up tomorrow morning but I am so mentally disturbed by my bf. He will never takes the initiative to call, to text me or to ask about me. I have to take the 1st move, and he doesn't even give me a reply everytime I text him or call him. I am so fucking tired of all these, when I need somebody to talk to, he will never be there. I don't want him to be there 24/7, but at least give me some respond whenever i text him. Is it too much?!!ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shall I move on? Since we just coupled not long ago...
I am so lost..

kateling said...

I am surprised there are only 21 posts - I am in same boat as others here but years down the track.
I suggest to all of you GET OUT QUICK. I have tried everything over the years but ended in same but worse space than all the commenters here. I am at my end.

I was sitting in my office crying tonight (he could plainly see) and he asked "do you have hay fever?" no, I said "I am miserable" "oh," he said "what time do you want tea" "I don't want any tea" I said, so he left. Now it isn't like i sit here crying all the time... like never. And that is the response I get. I want to put dog poop in his car I am so mad. And sad. I am so sad.
He is on holidays while I work up to Christmas and the only domestic chore he has done is take out the trash (not including my office bin where i sit crying as he is notw to annoyed to come near). He hasn't had time to go ot the movies even all year but recently spent 12 hours photographing canvases of a woman who walks her dog where we walk ours.. and he doesn't like her that much.

GO NOW before you get too comfortable, or scared, like me.

Anonymous said...

God love all of you for writing here--I just spent $3,500 helping my boyfriend live while he produced a music album--his dream. What do I get? Treated like shit. He is never there for me and blames me when I am upset and try to reach out to him. He is rude, old, fat, bald, short and stupid. And so am I for loving him instead of myself. I followed my heart not my head and now I'm so utterly lost and alone.

Anonymous said...

i also typed i hate my boyfriend because i felt so alone and just felt so completely hopeless and lost. and he should be the one person i can talk to about things and i cant because he doesnt get it!he turns into an imbecile when we argue.he is very blind, he will eagerly blame all our problems on me and tell me every little thing that i need to change about myself when he cant ever accept that fairly enough he is not perfect!why do men think that if we dont like an aspect of how they behave we have to lump it but for their part will threaten to finish it if we dont change!!i wish i could be brave enough to do it.if he has upset me and he sees a tear he will start to load on the insults. at the end of the day i am losing more and more confidence which is making me a terribly shy and worried person.damn him for upsetting me so much that im bloody writing it on the internet lol.what guy would do this?!

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm the billionth girl on this list to comment and agree on this issue as well. I, too, googled how much my boyfriend sucks! I love him but I'm starting to get fed up with his asshole ways. Everything at the beginning was great (Honeymoon stage of course); HE was the one who chased after me! Now he likes to have sooo much space to the point I feel like he doesn't like my presence anymore, he considers his feelings before mine, he hates talking about our problems, he hangs out with his friends a LOT and would do more funner activities with them rather than me, etc. I've been completely unselfish to his needs but I just feel like he doesn't show he loves me anymore...

Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm in this exact situation. He always says I'm crying and that whatever it is isn't all that serious. Talking and discussing things aren't even attempted in our relationship anymore because he doesn't listen or care. So basically I'm kind of at that yelling and crying stage myself.

Anonymous said...

Well I am at the same stage as everyone else sick of my boyfriend, I hate him all we want is for them to put us first for a change, alot of us are to scared to jump out of the relationship cause there is a whole lot of uncertainty. . . But would that uncertainty feel better than the way we feel now

Anonymous said...

This blog came up when i typed in that my boyfriend doesnt listen to me...i feel so pathetic to have to vent about him on the internet but sometimes it seems like there is no other choice. My frustration has reached its peak. Once a week at least we get into a screaming/hitting match.

I feel like I am definitely part of the problem but he wont admit his fault at all. It is so unfair that I am a full time student with a part time job and he does nothing at all but I am supposed to take care of him?? I don't support him financially but in every other way I do.

When he gets mad he basically tells me that he would do anything for us to break up, and I say it right back to him. But neither of us can actually do it.

I am so miserable.

Anonymous said...

I cant believe i just found this blog it basicly describes my bf 80% of the time and to read that someone else has felt the same way i dont feel at all like the moaning bitch he makes me out to be. I googled 'why do bfz suck shi' and this came up wow! I fully understand this .Here i ws thinking im asking for the world just to have him evan respond to what ive just said yanno sometimes im like staring at him still waiting and waiting for a response to what i just said and it never comes. I dont undersand y i havent left him? ive tryd? ARGGGH

Anne said...

Well, first off, I would like to buy all you ladies a drink to cheers with. It feels so nice to hear others out there who feel hurt or sad by their boyfriend's actions. Who knew?

I also googled "my boyfriend sucks". Sad huh, how many of us feel that...

My boyfriend and I are about 3 days away from officially breaking up. Sad, huh, that its timed like that? Well, we talk a lot, or at least we used to till he met his new friends. So in the spirit of "talking", we keep talking about breaking up, yet keep telling to each other that neither of us want to leave. But ladies, I have hit my limit. He has this new female friend that he's totally sprung over and even admitted to me that he feels a special bond with her, but WON'T BREAK UP WITH ME. I think he wants it all, and i just can't give it to him. I don't care, I can't be that "cool" girlfriend that is comfortable with him having such a close, emotional and a physically touchy relationship with a "friend".
I sometimes think he's tricking me and that he knows from the start that he wants to get with this girl. I can't watch. I wish i can 'officially' breakup with him now. Yet I'm so sad without him sometimes. i can't stop thinking about him and what he might be doing with her. :( I used to be better at this. I'm an emotional wreck now...

funny how i originally wanted to write on this blog to comment on the other postings and tell the girls that if they have already admitted to themselves that they're miserable, there is no reason to stick around with him, yet here i am writing to you all about my sadness with my soon to be ex boyfriend.

Take care all. And next time you have that first sip of a Vodka Martini, think of us on the blog :D

Anonymous said...

Men are complete idiots!! I'm not a lesbian either. I just sit and stare at by boyfriend and think "are you serious??". the most basic logic escapes them. Anything closely related to hard work or critical thinking upsets them. Having to teach them how to, what to do is getting old!! Why do we need to have a BF when we are pulling both of relationship weight. Is this what everyone else does? Put up with whiny, dumb boyfriends who rather hang out with friends instead of moving forward with life!! Tell me, am I the only one stuck in this situation or are hundreds of women stuck in a relationhip that they feel they should be in buy are miserable! Why can't we be alone?? Why must be paired up with lesser beings who don't comprehend commen sense? A need to be less harsh with each other as women when we hear one is not married, or have children by a certain time. We need to value their independence & revolutionary choice in wanting not to put up with a man's crap. I know as women, we think " we are way smarter than you" and it's a fact, I've never seen a man successfully multitask. I'm not advocating man hating either but please, when will they step up???? Let's dump then all & teach them a lesson, maybe then they will have a different approach towards relationships. Until then, I'm really really considerig being single!! If I'm going to work hard, clean & put up with shit, it might as well be my own!!

Anonymous said...

Oh. God. This is all just ridiculous horse shit that we put up with. Here I am, with all of you, writing on the internet. Me? Because I have no one to talk to - not one single person in my life supports me staying with my boyfriend. Trouble is, even if I wanted to leave, I would owe more money than I make in 2 months just to get out of this lease early. I am stuck because of finances.

I came to this new city about 4 months ago to move in with my boyfriend and about 2 weeks in, he turned into some sort of brain-dead, bad-decision-making, financially-irresponsible dickhead. I think that's putting it lightly, actually.

I have been putting 110% of myself into this relationship for the past 3 years and have gotten next to nothing in return, but oh yes, he promises things will be better once we move in. Yes, this does signal that something is deeply wrong inside of me. Obviously I'm fucked up to deal with this shit.

Now, I know there's something malfunctioning in my stupid-ass brain, but what I want is someone to tell me, how the hell do I deal with these lease Nazis that run this apartment complex?

All my co-workers tell me I'm so positive and fun to be around. So obviously this relationship is turning me into a hostile, angry, resentful BITCH that is out of control. I cannot stand my bf!!!! Or myself right now...

better said...

Just another one of those who googled: "my boyfriend sucks". Glad I found this. We do women never learn, we spend so much time asking, beggin and yelling for just a glimpse of hope or emotion in our boyfriends, well knowing that it is a real mission impossible.

Anonymous said...

my boyfriends the same way and when I get fed up and i say something like dont talk to me anymore(since hes ignoring me anyway, i want him to ignore me forever) he acts like he doesnt know what's wrong and wants to know what he did....You asshole didnt do anything...thats the whole point...do something! he doesnt even get mad at me...nothing....i thought i was the only one...happy i found this blog....

Anonymous said...

Oh I hate my current and ex boyfriend.

I am sweet, i cook, im funnym im easy going, loving, really love sex and am also on the hot side.

And what happens because Im sweet and easy going ?

THEY both have fucked me over big time
My ex bf begged me to take my house off the market, that he loved me forever and everything he has was mine.
He then proceeded to go back to his ex wife, break up again, go back to his ex gf, break up with her and turn her into a homicidal stalker (dont blame her now)
and did all behind my back

I ONLY found otu because i found all their photos in the paper (theyre all local luminaries)

unthefuckbelievable.


so i started dating my current and soon to be next ex bf

really felt great with him
no fights, calm, happy, sweetness.
and he has been a friend for 2.6 years.

so i trusted him even more than my ex
well the fucker apparently loves everything about me except he secretly wants me super rich and thin

un huh

so i offered to take him out for his birthday

he turned me DOWN

suddenly invented all kinds of lame excuses.

Im so furious.

Nuns are lucky !

Anonymous said...

wow here i am thinking im the only girl with a shitty boyfriend. Glad i found this blog. i just dont understand how men can be such assholes and get away with it. I mean my bf has never taken me out or bought me anything. he actually owes me money and when i bring it up he acts like its nothing. He also talks about how he wants to do other women in front of me.. WTF?! I truly HATE my bf i dunno why iam still with him.. i actually attempted to break up with him but ending up coming back.. he is like some kind of disease i cant get rid of.. ughh
i for sure need to dump his ass. cause really im so much better than him and shouldnt stand to be treated this way.. its time for me to find a new man who will treat me like a damn princess :)