Sweet Sweet Privacy!

Last night I did laundry and went to wash the (4 days worth of) dishes. I have a bad habit of talking to myself, and spent most of the dishwashing time telling my boyfriend everything I couldn't say to his face. I thought I was doing this pretty well under my breath, but he must've heard me; because when I was done and went to sit on the couch, there was Captain Sensitive with tears in his eyes, laptop packed up, saying that he was going to head back to his mom's the next day.

I sighed. Great, just what I want at 10:30 Sunday night, in the middle of fucking laundry - a weepy, emotional man wanting to be reassured that I care about him, and I'm not breaking up with him, yadda yadda.

I took the opportunity to explain to him that, while I wasn't comparing him to past boyfriends, this relationship seemed to recreate an apparent pattern I have with men: date a while, they quit/lose their job, and move in with me, and I become a primary breadwinner and caregiver. I told him it felt like this was happening again with us. I understand he can't find a job, the economy sucks. But I also finally revealed to him how pissed I was that he quit his job in the first place.

Of course, I had to stop there, because he was getting too emo about being in my house for a month with no job, and watching me begin to seeth with irritation over his continued, unproductive presence and my lack of privacy. I had to get him out of that depressed mood because frankly I cannot deal with fucking emo people. (I'm an optimistic, energetic person as a rule, and people like that just suck the life out of me.)

So, the bottom line is he is going back to his mom's until he gets an actual solid job lead, and I no longer have to pretend he's not driving me bonkers. I'm glad I was able to unburden my thoughts, but I wish he would nut up a little, and not act like everything is so sad inducing. Oh well. He is what he is. At least I can poop with the door open again.

"It's me. I know."

"I have been dating Kevin off and on 3 years I guess. Hit me day 2 we were together but I loved him and i stayed.

Now we have a daugter and I really cant leave. I be alone my whole life nobody will be with a teen mother, nobody want somebody elses baby. He breaks up and goes has sex with some girls and then he come back to me cuz he love me. And hit me if i tell him he cant come back

I just wanted to share cuz you girl think your man is all shit but at least he don't hit you.

~ cassie ~"

You're right, Cassie. He doesn't hit me. I got involved in my teen years with a man who did, however. The first time he hit me was the last. I suppose we all have our different levels of what we will put up with.

Really? REALLY?

I must be retarded.

I knew this would eventually happen. Given my brilliant track record of choosing men, it was inevitable that this one would eventually quit his job and move in with me. Why not! That's what they ALL do after a while.

The kicker is, what kind of mongoloid quits a decent job in this economy? You 'couldn't stand it anymore'? You know what I can't stand? Being the SOLE BREADWINNER for myself and apparently the grown man I've now fucking adopted.

You know, if I wanted to raise a fucking kid, I would HAVE ONE. I am tired of dating a guy for a year or so and then having them bumrush into my house with all their shit and announce they are unemployed and crashing with me now.

Hey asshole, I can't afford to support us both, and frankly I don't want you living with me. But the fact is, after 2 years together I'm an asshole if I don't let you move in. After 2 years, it's time. People start asking you where you're going with it, when is he moving in, are you guys getting married? It's the whole shit or get off the pot routine, and I don't appreciate it.

And men know it, too. They know all they have to do is get a year or two under the belt and they can quit the jobs, move outta mom's house and into yours, and sit around watching movies and dicking around on craigslist all night, sleeping all day, and you will not do shit. You won't, because you have two years with the guy, it's expected that you guys move in together. You won't, because after two years you feel obligated to the guy, responsible for him. You won't do anything because two years is a lot of time to invest.

You won't do anything except get progressively more resentful that you are now feeding, cleaning up after, sheltering an overgrown teenager on an endless summer break who, after you make his dinner, clean up his fucking messes, do his laundry, and give him his allowance, wants to have sex with you.

Fuck you. Get a fucking job!

I'll be honest - I completely forgot about this blog.

I moved out shortly after that last post, and haven't regretted it a bit. I just wanted to update all of you who are STILL writing in this blog - you CAN do it, girls.

I have a new boyfriend now, and the 'sucks' part will probably be pretty boring. I am going to start up again though, because honestly, there is always time to find something annoying about a man. Not that it takes much effort.

In the meantime if any of you have questions or want advice send me a message or comment, and I will be happy to respond.

Hey, success.

Congratulations, boyfriend. I am now apathetic. Nothing's left. I'm done caring what you do, I'm done trying to talk to you about anything. Have a great birthday with the people you love more than me.

I'm sure you'll meet Miss Right in San Fran.